


No Sinning in the House Chat

by alexenange



Series: My Number Is No [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Kozume Kenma, Group chat, Multi, Nonbinary Yamaguchi Tadashi, Polyamory, Texting, gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10557750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexenange/pseuds/alexenange
Summary: tol asshole: I’m like 90% sure yachi has never seen a penisAsshole: don’t lie koutarou you are a sinner like the rest of usTetsubro: damn akaashi back at it again w the saltAsshole: I will skin you, boyfriend or notbrokuto koutabro: hotTetsubro: kinky





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is so short sorry y'all I was Blocked(tm) and I have a plan for another thing soon but this had to be a filter so sorry about this low quality of this and also how sh o r t it is bUT OH WELL HERE WE GO

Tetsubro: I love akaashis thighs I wanna die by those thighs I will write  alovesong abotu those thighs those thighs will end me oh my god I love his thighs save me I wanna cover them in bite can I do that I’m gay I love akaashi’s thighs so much s t r ang le mE

Bam: Kuro, I think this is the wrong chat

Tetsubro: FUFUFKCK

brokuto koutabro: LMAOOOOOOO RIP IN PIECES BABE

tol asshole: you say that as if you weren’t writing an ode to keiji’s thighs with him

brokuto koutabro: AND U WEREN’T????????????

tol asshole: I never said that

Asshole: as much as I am touched, this is still the wrong chat

brokuto koutabro: SHIT

\---

Tetsubro: SHIT

Tetsubro: I CORRUPTED THEM???

Tetsubro: THEIR POOR LIL SOULS I T A I N T E D THEM

Tetsubro: I CAN NEVER LOOK ANY OF THEM IN THE EYES AGAIN

Asshole: they can’t be that pure

Asshole: it can’t be that bad

tol asshole: all three of them r very ace

tol asshole: yams cried when they walked in on me showering once

Asshole: I take it back, it is that bad

Tetsubro: T AI  N T E D

brokuto koutabro: at least you never sent a nude or smt

Tetsubro: tru

Tetsubro: ST I  L L

tol asshole: I would actually kill you

tol asshole: I’m like 90% sure yachi has never seen a penis

tol asshole: new rule you’re not allowed near the pure ones anymore

tol asshole: bokuto, you too

brokuto koutabro: I DID NOTHING THO

tol asshole: you have no filter

Asshole: don’t lie koutarou you are a sinner like the rest of us

Tetsubro: damn akaashi back at it again w the salt

Asshole: I will skin you, boyfriend or not

brokuto koutabro: hot

Tetsubro: kinky

tol asshole: this is why you’re not allowed near them

Tetsubro: shit babe u right

Tetsubro: we r not pure enough for them

Asshole: repent

\---

Bam: update, yams is sitting on the bed in fetal position trying to pretend they never read that, and hitoka is on the floor screaming into a pillow

Bam: Kuroo Tetsurou, this is your fault

Bam: You will buy us all ice cream

Tetsubro: II’MM SOOORRRYYY I AM SO SO SO SORRY PLS KET ME REPENT I WIL BUY U ALL THE ICE CREAM

Asshole: wait kenma, why are you not affected

Bam: I knew kuroo while he questioned his sexuality

Bam: sometimes he forgot to clear his history

tol asshole: oh my god I can’t believe this

Tetsubro: K EN M A

Tetsubro: WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS

Tetsubro: TSUKKI STOP LAUGHING AT ME

tol asshole: nah

Bam: blackmail.

Tetsubro: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Asshole: this is why I like you, kenma

Bam: likewise, akaashi

Bam: where is bokuto?

Bam: he is also at fault for this.

tol asshole: oh I took his phone

tol asshole: he’s pouting at me but he can’t reach me bc my legs r too long

Asshole: pics or it didn’t happen

tol asshole: dw I’m getting blackmail material

Tetsubro: you two live up to your usernames

tol asshole: what, the ones you set for us?

Tetsubro: yeah

Tetsubro: those

Tetsubro: I chose well

Bam: send me those pictures akaashi

Asshole: ok

Asshole: but you have to give me some blackmail shit too

Bam: oh dw I have connections

Bam: pm me

Asshole: ok

Tetsubro: did I just witness a drug trade

tol asshole: smt like that

tol asshole: but if youafweioge

Tetsubro: tsukki

Tetsubro: tsukki?????

brokuto koutabro: BBAE IGOT MY HONE BACK BTU HES’ GNNA FIGHT ME GGT

Tetsubro: wild

Tetsubro: wait r u wrestling

\---

tol asshole: no sinning in the house chat

tol asshole: but yes we are

brokuto koutabro: come join us ;;;)))))))))))))))))))

Tetsubro: lmao omw

\---

tol asshole: ok I think we should name the chats so no one //kuroo// sends the wrong thing again

tol asshole has added a name: HOUSE CHAT

Tetsubro: tsuukkiiiiii that’s boring

Tetsubro has changed the name: AAAAYYAYYYYYY ITS THE HOUSE

Asshole: no

Asshole: fuck no change it back

Yam has changed the name: House

Yam: It’s still boring but it’s something at least.

tol asshole: good enough for now

Yam: :)

Tetsubro: wait yams do you unironically use the :)

Yam: Yes?

thank u ma'am: they are pure like that

Bam: unlike suga...

thank u ma'am: tru but suga also uses :) unironically

thank u ma'am: it’s very

Bam: alarming

Tetsubro: shady

tol asshole: shifty

Asshole: slytherin

Yam: Suga

thank u ma'am: confusing

thank u ma'am: I was gonna say confusing

Tetsubro: oh yeah

Bam: that too

\---

Asshole: kei

tol asshole: private chat?? why

Asshole: I have blackmail material

tol asshole: I’m listening

Asshole: so you know the setter from my year at seijou, with the poofy hair?

\---

House

Yam: Kuroo, Kenma said you’d take us to ice cream. I’d like some right now.

Tetsubro: omw I’ll get the car started

Asshole: wow, this is impressive

tol asshole: don’t pretend you aren’t laughing

Tetsubro: THE ASSHOLES ARE BACK

tol asshole: we never left

Asshole: bitch

Tetsubro: well I gtg drive I love you xoxo

Bam: stop

Bam: no PDA in the house chat

Bam: I have blackmail

tol asshole: give it to us

Bam: lol ok

\---

House

Tetsubro: WHAT THE FUUCK KENMA U LIE TO ME

Bam: yeah

brokuto koutabro: what did kenma lie abt????????

Tetsubro: THEY SAID THAT YAMS AND YACCHAN WERE LIKE

Tetsubro: SUPER SCARRED

Tetsubro: BUT THEY WEREN’T THEY WERE JUST PULLIG A PRANKK

Tetsubro: I FEEL NOT ONLY LIED TO, BUT ALSO BETRAYED

Asshole: that’s because you were lied to and betrayed, love

Tetsubro: WAIT WERE U IN ON THIS

tol asshole: yeah

tol asshole: why do u think bo didn’t have his phone I took it bc he’s a bad liar

brokuto koutabro: that’s tru

Tetsubro: AT T A C K E D

Tetsubro: IN MY OWN H O U SE

Tetsubro: HOW DARE YOU

Tetsubro: ALL OF YOU ARE EVIL

brokuto koutabro: I WANTED 2 TELL U THO BABE

Tetsubro: ur not evil

Tetsubro: everyone else it

brokuto koutabro: <3

Tetsubro: <3

tol asshole: ew

Asshole: you are dating them both

tol asshole: e w

Tetsubro: I AM ATTACKED

**Author's Note:**

> yeah idk what that was either  
> ten house points if u can guess what the next fic will be about (comment ur idea and hogwarts house for house points) idk what I'm doing w/e


End file.
